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Saturday, 27 September 2008 00:00

Warning to women (maybe some men too!)

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There are countless stories on the web about foreign women lured in by the charming Turkish men

(, of course no relationship is ever easy but there are some cultural and moral issues at play here.

First a warning, there is a underground "business" of Gigolos in Turkey and it nets the "employees" a LOT of cash, conned from unsuspecting foreign women. When you are feeling a little low or your self esteem is ebbing to have anyone young and attractive take an interest and compliment you is appealing and can bypass the logic centres while your emotional centre drowns out any alarm bells.

Cultural differences:-

  • Talking means flirting - We have had a very equal and free society for both sexes in the west and we have developed complex signs and habits to tell when a member of the opposite sex is flirting with us, in Turkey the role of the woman has been repressed for so long, although its getting more western all the time, these signs to a lot of Turks are not so subtle, so in a lot of case when you think you are being "just friendly" he isnt!

  • No such thing as platonic relationships - Again, this is a cultural thing, we have been used to having good friends of the opposite sex and thats genuinely all it is (most of the time), we bring those expectations with us. Because of religious and cultural ideals, traditionallly (although in the modern cities this is changing too) men and women in Turkey have two roles and two roles only, theyre together either because they work together or will be married.

  • Jealousy - OK, jealousy is a problem worldwide but in the Turkish culture, a partner is almost regarded as property, and is guarded as such. Most people dont like sharing their property and maybe you didnt even realise you were property! In the past it has been socially acceptable for Turkish men to have mistresses and employ prostitutes while the women play the traditional roles at home and perhaps in some areas this "tradition" hasnt been fully excorcised. So remember rule 1 if you are in a relationship.

  • Grass is greener - someTurkish men feel that they would have a better life in Europe so start relationships with a view to marriage and eventual foreign passport, theyll learn eh?

Im jealous, i admit it :-) A lot of Turks are blessed from the meditterranean gene pool and are on the whole an attractive race but foreign women are preyed upon as a source of income, Ive been in turkey for 5 years and known so many women who have said "it will never happen to me" and some time later the protestation changes to "well mine is different" just before some financial problems suddenly arise. Just be sure the love of your life doesnt have another one arriving on the next plane after youre gone!

In the west the practice of gigolos is marginalised and rare so we arent aware that in some countries it can be a way of life, and such it is here. Like all countries there are good and bad people and true intentions are often impossible to tell whatever language you speak.

Some advice is to maybe google their name and town just to check.

Read 6770 times Last modified on Monday, 02 March 2015 15:38
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